LUKE - The No-Show Grad

Who is Luke?
 
He was seen on his first day and never again.
 
Available? It’s just a status.
Camera? Never works.
URGENT task? Who is this?
 
Luke is the new addition to the team. His camera always plays up and can never turn on. Modern technology? Apparently beyond him.
He might respond in a couple of hours… if he’s not busy "completing" Helen’s compliance trainings. He can always explain why nothing got done - and it’s never his fault.
His Teams status will never change to "Away"; he’s permanently “Available.”
He won’t pick up the phone, but might call back in 3 business days.
 
The Doll
 
Luke’s pretend heart is a handwritten heart on a post-it note, taped to his jumper.
On his back: a buffering icon - eternally stuck, like his progress on tasks.
 
Height: 12 cm
Comes in a coffin-shaped box
Includes:
Character card
Ritual card
Mood Killer pin
 
Select one or more add-ons to elevate the experience even further.
 
The Ritual Card (Included)
 
Each Luke comes with a ritual card featuring:
4 defining characteristics
A darkly funny origin story explaining how he became this way
His weakness (hint: internet connection not included)
His character sound (probably a faint keyboard tap)
The nickname people call him behind his back (shh…)
 
Perfect For
 
People who deal with new grads who “look busy”
Anyone waiting patiently for a response that may never come
Gifting to someone leaving the team
Team members training a Luke
People who love novelty collectibles with dark humour
 
Stab the stress out. Be patient. Reclaim your time.
 
Task Survival Rating
★★☆☆☆
(Slight relief when the internet finally works.)
 
This item is a pre-order.
Orders are expected to ship around April-May 2026.
 
Packaging & Details
 
Doll height: 12 cm
Box size: 14.5 × 11 × 6 cm
Doll weight: 40 g
Boxed weight: 115 g
Packaging: Coffin-shaped box that includes: 1 corporate voodoo doll, 1 character card, 1 ritual card, and 1 mood killer pin
 
⚠️ WARNING: NOT A TOY (16+)This item is intended for adult use only. It is a novelty (stress relief) collectibles product and is not suitable for children. Contains small parts and sharp components (e.g., pins). Keep out of reach of children and pets. Not for play.