JANICE - The Mic Breather

Who is Janice?
 
Mute button? She is not good with IT.
 
Background noise? Who cares.
Hayfever? Sneezing is part of the experience.
Love ASMR? Enjoy.
 
Her headphone is bigger than her head and will not come off all day.
The colleague who’s been at the company for 30+ years thinks she knows everything - and she won’t miss a single meeting.
She will never mute herself, and her mic is permanently under her nose so everyone can hear her breathing.  You could literally count her heartbeats per minute.
Background noises? Cooking, packing, typing - Janice doesn’t care who hears. And she’s always the first to yell: “YOU ARE ON MUTE!” …like you’re a criminal.
 
The Doll
 
Janice’s pretend heart is an asymmetrical hand-cut heart, attached to her blouse with a paperclip.
On her back: a massive mute button icon.
 
Height: 12 cm
Comes in a coffin-shaped box
Includes:
Character card
Ritual card
Mood Killer pin
 
Select one or more add-ons to elevate the experience even further.
 
The Ritual Card (Included)
 
Each Janice comes with a ritual card featuring:
4 defining characteristics
A darkly funny origin story explaining how she became this way
Her weakness (hint: not ASMR)
Her character sound (can you guess?)
The nickname people call her behind her back (shh…)
 
Perfect For
 
Anyone interrupted by loud breathing noises
Colleagues sitting next to a Janice in the office
People who escaped Janice’s microphone tyranny and left the company
Gift recipients who survived “YOU ARE ON MUTE!” moments
People who love novelty collectibles
 
Stab the stress out. Turn the volume down. Enjoy your time.
 
Call Survival Rating
★★★☆☆
(When the nostrils are blocked.)
 
This item is a pre-order.
Orders are expected to ship around April-May 2026.
 
Packaging & Details
 
Doll height: 12 cm
Box size: 14.5 × 11 × 6 cm
Doll weight: 35 g
Boxed weight: 110 g
Packaging: Coffin-shaped box that includes: 1 corporate voodoo doll, 1 character card, 1 ritual card, and 1 mood killer pin
 
⚠️ WARNING: NOT A TOY (16+)This item is intended for adult use only. It is a novelty (stress relief) collectibles product and is not suitable for children. Contains small parts and sharp components (e.g., pins). Keep out of reach of children and pets. Not for play.